Human Parkour

Dedicated to somebody who Embarrasses me through this 24/7:

Introducing Human Parkour.

This Variation of traditional Parkour and Freerunning introduces a new element to the sport: Annoyance. The point of Human Parkour is "get from point A to Point B, as fast as you can, annoying as many people as you can." While vaulting over a fence might get you there a little faster than average, that crowd of people over to your right looks unnervingly peaceful. Why not run through them? You can earn extra annoyance points by cannonballing right into the middle of the group and making yourself look like a complete dumbass!

You might ask, "now sinc, how would you calculate scores? its kind of unfair to say that this person is more of an annoyance than that other person!"

But, we have formulated an equation for calculating this all. The Key is Annoy with efficiency.

score=people annoyed/(time/distance)

time is usually measured in seconds, with distance in meters. time over distance can be called, unvelocity. Using Basic algebraic skills, we can deduce that an increase in people annoyed will raise your score. an increase in time, or a decrease in distance, will lead to a higher unvelocity, and therefore, a lower score.

lets not forget bonus points, as these can substantially make your score higher with the judges. bonuses can be earned through fails that make people feel embarassed, and therefore guilty by association.

Fails include:

tripping, breaking up crowds, dumbass laughter, missing a roll, pointlessly bouncing around

and many, many more.

Now, bonus points can be multiplied if certain fails are completed in a row. These are called, Failstreaks, and can really make or break your score. For example, "tripping," followed by "attempting to act ninja," will result in a 1.5x multiplier to your bonus (increasing by .5 per failstreak)

But, it takes a real champion to act cool after you get a good score. [/Sarcasm]

so, please don't associate yourself with the real parkourists and freerunners

Anyway, all idiots aside, I think the world is a pretty neat place to live. And I do believe that World War 3 would be epic from a safe distance.

Song Quote of the Day:

"Save my grace with half ass guilt, and lay down the quilt upon the lawn... Spread my arms and soak up, congratulations!"

-MGMT, "Congratulations"

Good Morning...